Get all 29 Evan Knapp releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Pearls Before Swine, Little Tokyo, Color Theory, What I'm Not, For Real, Leveled Up, This Emptiness, Ur Loss, and 21 more.
1. |
The Same
03:23
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Lyrics:
These days we stay in the sheets when we wake from sleep
It’s made me late each day this week
There’s no need to explain ‚cause it’s plain to see
That she’s changing me
It’s never gone well when I’ve tried before
But all I really want is some time alone
But she holds on tight and won’t let go
Which just goes to show
That we can’t communicate
We never began and now it’s too late
She wants more us, I want more space
She’s willing to do whatever it takes
Just to make it work
Which just makes it worse
She says she wants no one else
But I know I don’t know myself
Well enough to say that I feel the same
She’ll say she loves me for who I am
As she takes the good without the bad
And shames me into a different man
When I don’t accord to plan
But how could I ever leave
When I’m what makes her happy?
It’s my responsibility
And my friends tell me
That it’s not and it never will be
But she’s still got this hold on me
She wants more us, I want more space
She’s willing to do whatever it takes
Just to make it work
Which just makes it worse
She says she wants no one else
But I know I don’t know myself
Well enough to say that I feel the same
‚Cause I’ve lost touch with who I once was
And she believes that it’s easy for me
To leave someone I love
But I’m gonna miss you so damn much
She wants more us, I want more space
She’s willing to do whatever it takes
Just to make it work
Which just makes it worse
When I say that I want to be free
She agrees and stares back at me
But she’ll never see just what I mean
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2. |
Summer Vacation
02:42
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Lyrics:
In these dreams I'm having
It's still 2011
I'm in high school again
Though now life don't seem much different
I go to school 5 days a week, every week
Except instead of school it's now my job it seems
Go to work to a boss who's screaming
He makes me feel I'm a shit human being
I guess I just wanted to be
The only one in charge of me
But the older I get, the more that I see
There's no such thing as completely free
Instead of tests now, I pay rent and
Homework means car payments
I never would have guessed I'd be so jaded
But no one ever said there'd be no summer vacation
Well see, we do get electives
But they're just ineffective
In comparison to core classes
Which one goes by the fastest?
I'm studying independently, it's only me
I just cannot focus adequately
I must learn how to quickly
Before my life sticks it to me
I thought I could do this alone
But now that I'm all on my own
My thoughts are rushing in like a cyclone
I need someone to be my coach
Instead of tests now, I pay rent and
Homework means car payments
I never would have guessed I'd be so jaded
But no one ever said there'd be no summer vacation
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3. |
Suffice To Say
03:09
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Lyrics:
I got this message from your name
You’d been listening to Ocean Frank
And it made you think of me, you hope I’m doing great
And hoped it wasn’t a mistake
But wait, as things were coming to an end
You said that you’d be open to use still being friends
Mentioning we should eventually reconnect
Before you stopped me by blocking me on all the interwebs
So I took that moment to ask if you were interested
You said you were and asked if I’d be into it
I said I would it don’t gotta be nothing intricate
Just wanna know, how’s life been since the time that we were intimate?
Admitted, I just wanted to say what’s up
Maybe remind myself exactly why did we break up
Half-expecting you to want to try and make things up
But when you didn’t I had to put this into quotations
You look just like the girl that I used to date
But something about you has changed
It makes me want you back but that’s a risk I can’t take
Suffice to say you’re different and the same in all the best ways
Last I heard you were moving to New Orleans
But here we sit inside a café in Portland
And you look gorgeous but I guess that’s not important
It appears as though our time apart’s allowed you to move forward
‘Cause you seem so happy, like I was holding you up
You push your comfort zone and don’t rely on anyone
No longer want a relationship, no, you just wanna have fun
Unlike the girl who said she’s ready to settle down with someone
But you still look fine and your smile’s still a masterpiece
Still look in my eyes as we talk so casually
All the inside jokes still come so naturally
As all the good times simultaneously come back to me
And this has to be a front
But I miss you so much
But I can’t forget the reasons why we’re no longer one
I gotta keep my head up and think straight because honestly
This is not about you, it’s about what I want you to be
You look just like the girl that I used to date
But something about you has changed
It makes me want you back but that’s a risk I can’t take
Suffice to say you’re different and the same in all the best ways
I must ignore the voice in my head, what it says messes things up
It’s the train in the distance that Paul Simon sings of
And it never goes away
It only changes shape
I just can’t help but feel like I made a mistake
You look just like the girl that I used to date
But something about you has changed
It makes me want you back but that’s a risk I can’t take
Suffice to say you’re different and the same in all the best ways
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4. |
I Don't Think About You
03:19
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Lyrics:
I don't think about you
When there's no one to talk to
Or when I'm making food
Or when I ought to
Especially not
When I walk down the block
And see the restaurants
It doesn't bring back thoughts
Because I don't think about you
You don't cross my mind
When I walk outside
And see glass from the pipe
You dropped when we got high
And that does not remind
Me of all the times you tried
To keep our love alive
When I wanted to resign
Because you don't cross my mind
I did not dream
That you were here with me
You did not disappear
When we touched and it seems
The fact of the matter is
I cannot convince myself that
You do not exist
When everything comes back to this
But I did have that dream
I took a trip
To San Francisco
To get my mind off of it
I went to see this show
And ran into a comedian
I'd seen in Oregon
I said what a coincidence
He said "I remember that.
But weren't you there with someone?"
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5. |
Now I Know (Demo)
02:58
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Lyrics:
Truth is, I fear I fear that I lack (I lack)
I lack the resolve
To move beyond this wall
And Live the life I really want
It's been a year a year since I (since I)
Since I left home
and for that I've nothing to show
I'm no different than a year ago
But I guess I can say I've learned
It's not the lighter that makes the fire burn
Two sticks will work
If you just exert the effort
That's the way to go, now I know
(Now I know, now I know)
That’s just how it goes
(Now I know)
Here, there, and everywhere there are sounds (sounds)
That I've never seen
What could this mean?
I may be worse off than I seem
I soak in what I can
But understand that if it's to be
It's up to only me
To make this vision a reality
But still a seed
Can't become a tree
Without sunbeams
Or rain at the very least
There are things you can't control, now I know
(Now I know, now I know)
That’s just how it goes
(Now I know)
It must bury
When it falls from the parent tree
It learns to shed its leaves
and you know it will always need
A little room to grow, now I know
(Now I know, now I know)
That’s just how it goes
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6. |
She's Moved On (Demo)
03:33
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Lyrics:
Hello my friend
It's so nice to see you again
Remember those times when
We used to reflect?
I can't believe how long it's been
We thought those times would never end
And life now is so different
Compared to then
Yeah, you would walk around with the girl of your dreams
I would complain about having no one for me
And you would reassure me, now the tables are turning
Let me say
Oh my god, it's a lot thrown upon your shoulders
You can't stop, all you want is to see and hold her
It's probably not what you want to hear
But she's moved on, she's moved on
You're upset
But reminiscence
Reminds me of what you said
When I was there
You always broke it down into terms that were sound
You always found out how to make me smile and
Now that you're broken down I want to be around to do the same
Oh my god, it's a lot thrown upon your shoulders
You can't stop, all you want is to see and hold her
It's probably not what you want to hear
But she's moved on, she's moved on
You're spot on, yeah she's different than when you met her
Just the thought makes you wish it would last forever
After all you have invested in her
She's moved on, she's moved on
And if you love her let her go, don't reprimand her
You want her to be happy, ain't that true?
See through her eyes, try to understand her
Walk a mile in her shoes
Take it in
These things happen for reasons and
It could always happen again
Couldn't it?
Oh my god, it's a lot thrown upon your shoulders
You can't stop, all you want is to see and hold her
It's probably not what you want to hear
But she's moved on, she's moved on
You're spot on, yeah she's different than when you met her
Just the thought makes you wish it would last forever
After all you've invested in each other
She's moved on, she's moved on
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7. |
A Girl's Name (Demo)
03:16
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Lyrics:
I remember the scent of autumn
And summer's endless days
But December beats all of them
Though spring's a close second place
But these days, something feels so strange
The change of the seasons don't hold the same meaning
I've been so fixated on trying to make it
I haven't looked up to see the time that it's taken
I'm in such a haze, I heard someone say the word summer and
I thought it was a girl's name
Time does not last as long as it used to
I watch the weeks turn into years
When I look back on all we went through
I just can't hold back the tears
Because these days, something feels so strange
Our change in relation's got me contemplating
As the days get warmer, it feels like torture
It's bringing me back when I need to move forward
Oh it's such a shame, when I heard someone say the word summer
All I thought of was a girl's name
These expectations had friends in me
They said, "Let's go explore."
But sometimes friends turn into enemies
And now I'm not excited anymore
Because these days, something feels so strange
All this confusion is just an illusion
Oh, It's just a prank pulled on me by my brain
I will be fine, in just a few months' time
But as of today when I hear someone say the word summer
All I’m hearing is a girl's name
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8. |
I Guess
03:36
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Lyrics:
I guess I'll give this closure to myself
Now that you're closer to someone else I've been thrown to the lowest shelf
Oh well
I guess, I mean, I wasn't so naive as to believe that it would be like when we were a team
But it seemed, if only in my dreams, that we could transcend and make amends and stay friends
You know? Like we said way back then
But then again, I guess it's disappointing but no surprise that your actions don't align with the words you verbalize and hurt when I wished you guys the time of your lives and you did not reply
Which made me realize that you will never be in my life again
Which got me wondering what the point is if all the joy and poignance only turns into disappointment
Like shit, there goes two years down the toilet
I guess I used to think it was such a waste when you would say that you erased every trace of your last mate's face, like, shouldn't those dates have brought you to happy place? Or were your relationships based in hate?
I used to contemplate what that would say about our fate
I guess it's taken me ages to let go and my age is starting to show everything that I don't know and away is the only place to throw all this angst and woe
So there goes two years worth of texts, my first worst and best, and all of our photos on the internet
There goes your family and friends and the sexts I need not have kept for they do not get me erect
There goes the emotional hiding and seeking and you implying that I was cheating and trying to sleep while I was already dreaming
There goes me being your best friend but not someone you trust and talking to no end but never about us and those things that I said that kept your walls up and you not knowing me at all
Fuck
When everything went under, I kept these things to not forget all the little wonders from when we met to when we left and now I'm deleting your number even though it's burned into my head and taking advice I gave to my brother saying that chapters were made to end and I guess that's just life when lovers try to remain friends
So I guess this is it
I guess this marks the start of me embracing life without you and not wondering what it was for and I'm going to stop writing about you because my listeners are getting bored
But before that... thanks
For everything
For the good times that we had and even the bad, for those all turned me into who I currently am and yeah, I tried my best
That's for damn sure and you left all my questions unanswered and I'd love to be able to say that I'll always be there for you
But are you?
You're just making it kinda hard to and I don't wanna argue but I was put in charge to answer these questions on my own
But I guess that's better still because at least now I know that you never will
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9. |
These Pills (Demo)
02:34
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Lyrics:
You look at me
And say with disdain
I'm not doing it right
As if there's only one way
You push me farther
I never asked for a nudge
As I try harder
But it's never enough
‘Cause I’ve let you convince me
That I'm in the wrong
But it's been you all along
So I'm done with this useless feud that you chose to start
I'm done with your attitude and the hypocrite you are
You fill these pills up with my pride and shove them down my throat
Do it one more time, and I just might overdose
I was born a hassle
With paper skin
And I've been the asshole
Ever since
So I can't blame you
For my hatred of self
Even though you berate me
For everything else
And I won't respect your insight
If you don't respect that I never requested your advice
That’s why I’m done with this useless feud that you chose to start
I'm done with your attitude and the hypocrite you are
You fill these pills up with my pride and shove them down my throat
Do it one more time, and I just might overdose
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10. |
Conditionless (Demo)
03:31
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Lyrics:
Well baby if I called you each night and suddenly
One night you hear nothing from me
Would you be worried or would you wait to hear from me and scream?
'Cause when you disappeared for those 3 days
I searched everywhere and when you showed your face
I told you it was all okay even though you wouldn't do the same
You said my love was not conditionless
But if I did that to you you would have left
And I'll be the last to say that I'm perfect
So could you tell me what I could have done different?
If I left would you yell and be mad
Or would you take a step back and realize that
It's just as hard for me
Would you still want me to be happy?
You said your love was unconditional
But when our relationship took its toll
You used love in the past tense
Could you tell me what happened?
You said my love was not conditionless
But if I did that to you you would have left
And I'll be the last to say that I'm perfect
So could you tell me what I could have done different?
And when you did those nice things
Was it just to make me happy?
Or did you keep track to see
That when we would disagree
You had reason to be mad at me
And attack me
You said my love was not conditionless
But if I did that to you what would you have said?
And I never meant to come from a place of disrespect
But with that said
Could you tell me what I could have done different?
Could you tell me what I could have done different?
Could you tell me what the fuck I could have done different?
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Evan Knapp Los Angeles, California
I'm a singer, songwriter, and bassist from Upstate New York currently making music in Los Angeles,
CA.
It's taken me a while to get to the point where I can release my own music and have a pretty big backlog to get through, so be on the lookout for new tunes.
Thanks for stopping by and let me know of any comments/criticisms!
... more
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