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When Will It Hit Me?

by Evan Knapp

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about

This was the first song I wrote after moving to LA.

Leaving Portland was a really big deal for me, as I basically came of age in that city. I moved there when I was 18 and learned how to pay rent and work a job and write songs and book shows. I was such a different person leaving that city than I was entering it, and because of that, I expected a pretty big emotional reaction when leaving.

I expected to feel things as I packed my belongings into a U-Haul that was way bigger than it needed to be. I was expecting to cry as I merged onto the 1-5 South towards LA... but I just didn't.

I remember thinking to myself as I approached the bay area, "When is this going to hit me?"

I wasn't sad, but I wasn't happy. I just was. And suddenly I started getting flashbacks to some of the more pivotal moments of my life, like graduating high school and leaving my family for the first time, and I remember feeling something similar.

So this song is essentially about wanting to feel something when you don't feel anything.

lyrics

LYRICS:

This is not hard
I'm not joking
When I say that part of my brain must be broken

I'm in a car
Passing Oakland
Leaving my friends and everything I've come to know and

I'm not that sad
That's why I have to ask

When will it hit me? I'm still waiting I'm not sure
When will it hit me? That that part of my life's no more
And why is it that when things change, I remain completely unphased
When will it hit me? The tears I've been waiting for

I should be glad
I can't feel it
For that would break my heart into pieces

At 17
I left my family
And I remember thinking that this can't be

Because I was not that sad
That's why I had to ask

When will it hit me? I'm still waiting I'm not sure
When will it hit me? That that part of my life's no more
And why is it that when things change
I remain completely unphased
When will it hit me? The tears I've been waiting for

I was in a cap and gown standing on the stage
On the day that I graduated
And they called my name but it was all a game
Because I still felt the same

And it never hit me, that's why I'm not sure
That it's ever gonna hit me that that part of my life's no more
And why is it that when things change
I remain completely unphased
When will it hit me?

credits

released September 29, 2019
It's all me, baby

license

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about

Evan Knapp image

Evan Knapp Los Angeles, California

I'm a singer, songwriter, and bassist from Upstate New York currently making music in Los Angeles, CA.

It's taken me a while to get to the point where I can release my own music and have a pretty big backlog to get through, so be on the lookout for new tunes.

Thanks for stopping by and let me know of any comments/criticisms! ... more

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